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My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands |  | Author: Chelsea Handler Publisher: Bloomsbury USA Category: Book
List Price: $14.95 Buy New: $8.37 as of 3/9/2010 23:30 CST details You Save: $6.58 (44%)
New (56) Used (76) Collectible (3) from $8.31
Seller: the_kenosha_kid2 Rating: 454 reviews Sales Rank: 81
Media: Paperback Pages: 213 Number Of Items: 1 Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.5 Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8
ISBN: 0733619630 Dewey Decimal Number: 306.7 EAN: 9781582346182 ASIN: 1582346186
Publication Date: June 6, 2005 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
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Showing reviews 1-5 of 454
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL! May 14, 2005 Stefanie Taylor (Encino, California USA) 57 out of 79 found this review helpful
I just finished reading "My Horizontal Life" and I have to say, it was the most fun I think I've ever had reading a book. I was laughing so hard at some of these stories that I was calling people up to quote lines over the phone (I know that's annoying if you're on the other end but it had to be done). In fact, when I finished reading it, I picked it back up and read a couple of the stories again.
As a fan of stand-up comedy (the author is a comedienne), I expected the book to be full of jokes and it is, but what I didn't expect is that it would be so revealing, sweet and engaging. By the last page, I felt like I knew the author as well as some of my closest friends.
Whether or not you yourself have had a one-night stand, you will be able to relate to the things that happen to her. Okay, maybe we haven't all dated a male stripper who's "every gay guy's fantasy" but we've all dated someone we sadly discovered is not so bright or who doesn't have a good grasp of our language. Personally, I think even a nun would find this book amusing. But I wouldn't buy it for her. I'd hope she'd just stumble upon it on her own.
I've read many humor book over the years and the problem with a lot of them is that they're just not that funny. This one delivers.
Best Break-Up Book April 16, 2009 Valentine (Rocky Mountains) 3 out of 3 found this review helpful
This book is the definitive feel-better break-up book. I was feeling melancholy after a 3 year relationship went south and decided to pick-up something to change my mood and mindset. Little did I expect to finish this book in two sittings as I was so compelled to read the raw, raucous and rather naughty collection of stories from Ms. Handler because of her wit and way with words (not to mention men). I found myself repeatedly 'LOL-ing.'
Why is it the perfect post break-up book?
-Handler acknowledges her faults, flaws and fetishes with candor and no regret
-She's bold, brave and brazen in the bedroom(s)
-Her family is sincere and sweet but a little clueless
-She's not shy about her sexuality, her soft spot for alcohol and her flair for creating outrageous lies and liaisons
My favorite stories had to do with Chelsea and her roommate Dumb Dumb not to mention her tales of unemployment and her fearless flings.
There are so many terrific quotes, comments and musings---you'll find yourself wishing Chelsea was your BFF when you're in a nursing home at 80 because she'll be the only one there who can really claim to have seen midget unmentionables...and this time it will be the truth.
A Collection of One-Night Stands May 18, 2005 shannon fitzsimmons (Rhode Island) 2 out of 2 found this review helpful
If you've got a few bucks in your pocket, skip the Martini at
Lunchtime, and head for the nearest bookstore and purchase this
Must-Have.Read one chapter a day, stretch it out as long as you can and you naillm regain a feeling of total wellbeing.
You will laugh until it hurts.You will read about things you have only dreamed about, and discover things your imagination could not even come up with.
So, pamper yourself, loose yourself in a world that you are not really part of,---or so you think.
It's the BOMB! May 19, 2005 Jeff (LA, CA) 2 out of 2 found this review helpful
First of all, it couldn't be any funnier. It's about time that a female writes a book with as much candor and chutzpah as any male when recounting their one night stories to the guys. So refreshing to find something this candid and truly funny in an over-sensitized world of censorship. Finally, someone with a strong point of view who won't couch it to spare anyone! I love it. She's just so funny!
Totally Hilarious June 16, 2005 Heather Camp (Minneapolis, MN) 2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I bought this on the suggestion of a friend and could not put it down. It's hilarious and so TRUE. For anyone who has ever had a few too many drinks and had a one-nighter, had to endure "the walk of shame" or listened to their friends stories of random hook-ups - you will not only relate but laugh until it hurts.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 454
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